I Burned My Shoes

I burned my shoes. During a camping trip last summer, I put my sneakers near the fire to dry after hiking in the rain the whole day. Turns out, they were way too close to the fire. In a blink of an eye, my shoes were gone. This reminded me how quickly the path I had laid out for my life was gone almost four years ago. And with it, my home and everything dear to my heart.

My life flipped upside down on February 24, 2022, and change overtook my life with the speed of light. The saying is true - until you walk in a person’s shoes, you won’t understand what they went through. That day I felt like I lost my shoes completely, forced to change them from one pair to another, an uncomfortable one and one I did not choose.

After moving to U.S., I met people whose hearts were broken by different circumstances: being forced to obey the will of over-zealous parents, having a cousin die in a child marriage, mental health issues, escaping persecution in their country because of their religion, risking their life to get education, and being so used to air raids sirens, they just ignore them. I joined Urban Promise Nashville as a Streetleader in September of 2024. Many of the kids there come from unstable homes and share sorrowful stories. Just like that, I realized that I want to be a person that would heal people. In the program I would plan lessons alongside other StreetLeaders and lead activities and classes for elementary school kids, that would both bring community and knowledge about God to them. UPN helped me develop something that I would never see in myself – leadership. The people here helped me realize that it can be presented in many more ways than just what society is used to. I established powerful friendships, not only with other Streetleaders, but with kids as well – while making craft together, discussing questions about God, laughing at illustrated images during reading buddies and sharing about the parts of cultures. It gave my life a meaning. That way, UPN became my second home, or maybe, third.

"Just like that, I realized that I want to be a person that would heal people."

Last summer, I did burn my shoes. Symbolically speaking, I realized I could finally let them go. Sitting together around a fire with my new coworkers and singing songs to a guitar, while looking at the stars in a clear sky, made me understand that I finally found the community I was looking for. A new path, new dreams finally emerged in front of me. Each of my experiences here made me realize that there is not much time left, I need to experience life to the fullest and bring as much hope and healing to those around me as possible. There is no time to walk around in burned shoes just because they remind me of the warmth I once experienced.

My future plan as of right is to study animation at Lipscomb University. With that, I wish to fulfill my passion for helping people, whether through just volunteering, or for example – making animations to tell people’s stories and what they have been through to bring more awareness. I am not pursuing a college education just for the sake of a career or becoming successful. I seek knowledge and expertise to make a change, however big or small, in society.

Ivanka Samodina is the inaugural recipient of our Dale Clay Memorial Scholarship (read about Dale here),. She is from Ukraine, and came to the US after the Russian invasion in 2022. She joined UPN as a StreetLeader in the fall of 2024.